Looking back at the past year my life has changed drastically. I was ending 2010, the year my marriage ended, on a hopeful note. I was in a relationship with a man who I adored, and I still had my home.
Looking back at 2011, this past year has been one of pain. Stress and anxiety over my divorce and finances. Emotional pain over a relationship that had brought me so much comfort in 2010.
2011 has also been one of loss.
Loss of love. I fell in love with a guy who seemed so perfect, however I don’t think I was perfect for him. He touched my heart in ways my ex-husband and even ex-boyfriends never could. When that relationship ended I swear he took my heart with him.
Loss of finances. My divorce and the cost of living in a home I could not afford drained my savings to levels where I didn’t think I’d ever see. Negative checking account balances still haunt me like a nightmare.
Loss of my home. My first home. The home I bought with my savings. The home I poured so much sweat and tears into the process of making it mine.
As you can see I have been waiting for 2011 to end for a long time now.
Moving to the City has been an effort to truly start my life over. In some ways I have been slowly easing into a life that has been less stressful. I do admit I do miss my home and what my life was like before my marriage ended, but in spite of it all I am happier.
About a month ago I had an offer for a better paying job. The better salary and steadier employment has been a godsend. It not only made the holidays less stressful, but gave me hope that a bad year was ending on a positive note. Hope that 2012 will be much kinder to me.
Happy New Year all…. here’s to a better 2012…