This might be a Debbie Downer type post. I am going to blame the mood on being hungry right before bed, and being a good dieter as I am, I am not snacking (LOL).
Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. I know its considered a holiday invented by commercial businesses. I know many people think its lame. I know many people pay no attention to it. Until I had my first boyfriend I felt the same way. Since that first Valentine’s “attached” I got hooked on one special day a year. (What can I say I dated guys who really didn’t believe in special nights out).
I know this sounds bad, but this is my first Valentines Day being single and unattached. Last year I was still with JS, but I didn’t know he was going to break up with me 4 days after Valentines Day. So this Valentine’s Day is particularly sour.
Its been a year since I was in a relationship. Its been nearly 2 years since I became single. Part of me thought I would be in a relationship by now. The other part wonders if its me, or if the dating pool is just that shitty.
Over the past year I probably dated a few duds, a few jerks, and a few wolves in sheep’s clothing. The later are the ones who I seemed to have a connection with, who indicated they were looking for a serious relationship, and who lead me to believe that the first date was not the last date. In reality they just played and burned me. Looking back I feel stupidly naive to have fallen for their tricks. The more I came across guys like that, the easier it was to spot them. I hate that it took me this long to learn the hard way.
The up side is, I am dating less and less jerks.
The downside is, I am not getting as many dates, LOL.
I guess what I am trying to say in a round about way is, I don’t like being single. Many of the guys I meet aren’t for me. I feel lonely too often.
I have been trying to get out more and put more non-dating social time on my calendar, but I won’t lie, I like dating. I like the companionship. The conversation. The flirting. I just wish I could date one guy exclusively and get out of this string-of-first-dates rut.