I did a lot of odds and ends around the house over the weekend. Lots of sorting, organizing, and decorating. My place is slowly coming along. Sometimes it feels good to have my own space separate from what I shared with my ex-husband, but at the same time it doesn’t really feel like “mine”. Sometimes I wonder if and when I’ll ever feel like I have a home of my own, instead of renting from family.  For now I am just enjoying a rent payment lower than the mortgage I used to have, plus a place where I don’t have to worry if an unexpected home repair will come along and wipe my bank account out.

I had date number 4 with the “Boxer”. I like him, I really do, but, well, I am not sure if there is much of a connection with him. When we hang out I have a blast. We always have great conversation over drinks. Chatting with him I feel like he’s going places, sophisticated, a mover-and-shaker. However, I barely hear from him between dates. I don’t get it. I can’t tell if he’s having fun hanging out as friends like I am, or if he’s cautiously approaching dating. So far I have been just meeting up for drinks and enjoying our chats. In the past when I had a connection with a guy the relationship started fast and ended quicker. I always ended up with a broken heart. Since this guy seems so different, I am going to see what happens next. Maybe a different approach is good for a change. However, I think if he’s interested in me he will have to reach out to me. So far I had reached out first and even though I dont mind I do know thay relationships are a two way street. Both people need to reach out equally. Going out for drinks is fun, but I know from past experiance that having a fun chat does not mean that there is compatibility. Plus my ex-husband uaed to insist I be the one reaching out all the time and after 11-12years it wore me down. I refuse to be with someone who always wants and waits for me to reach out all the time. So if I dont hear back from Boxer, I know it might be for the best.

Today was my first Valentines single and unattached. I started off the day in a  good mood, but slowly as the day went on I felt a little down. I got a few texts from some guys I have either went out with at one point, or have chatted with, all wished me a Happy Valentines Day. It felt good to get some small attention like that. The “Boxer” sent his later this afternoon. It felt good to get one from him, until, I heard from a guy I dated a few weeks ago. We dated very very briefly and we parted on really good and friendly terms. What started out as a simple question from him ended up with a conversation all late afternoon and early evening. We went from friendly chit chat, to friendly banter and jests, to flirting, to us having dinner tomorrow night.

One good thing about Valentine’s Day is that its finally over! I was getting sick of the damn sappy “guess what my wonderful husband/boyfriend got me”…Blech. Even when I wasn’t single I didn’t post that kind of stuff up. I never realized how annoying it was.

Speaking of sappy facebook announcements. My sister got engaged. Now I really have to get this weight off. I can’t be a fat chick in a wedding. I have done that twice and its humiliating. However, overall I think I am doing well and staying on track for my DietBet challenge. Not feeling as hungry anymore. I am also keeping my will power up at work when treats magically appear in the lunchroom. Tomorrow’s dinner will be a challenge though.


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