Sailing away

I have been meaning to write this post for a while now. Part of me held back because I wasn’t sure the best time to write it, the other part had been so busy with work, the kids, and reflecting.

I had met a really great guy. I could see in him a caring person and a beautiful person. We seemed to hit it off very well, as if we had been friends for years.  I felt so comfortable around him and I always looked forward to hearing from and spending time with him.  Getting a text from him in the morning really boosted my mood for the day. The silly and random banter we had throughout the day was so much fun, and I always looked forward to it.

Without going into details, all I can say is I fell for him. But I cold sense that part of him was holding back a little. Once in a while it seemed like he would open up a bit and our conversations were so deep, that is when I could see he was a very sensitive guy.

Other times he seemed distant and quiet. I could sense he wanted space and I gave it to him. It was hard to give him space, but I cared about him and I didn’t want to make him feel smothered or forced into thinking he had to open up to me. I would let him know that I was there if he ever needed someone to talk to or needed advice. He always told me he respected that and me.

I have noticed this cycle of him opening up and then pulling back a few times in the past month or so that I had known him. One minute he was sweet and affectionate, the next he looked zoned out in deep thought, only keeping in the present enough to follow the conversation.  It made it hard to figure out who he really was.  Each time he opened up I fell deeper and deeper for him, and when he pulled back I could feel a part of my heart breaking.

In short, I think he wants to fall in love, but is afraid to.

He’s in the middle of the down side of one of these cycles. Unlike the past times he was down and where I stayed waiting for him to come back around, this time I think I need to let him go.  I have so many mixed emotions over this. I really want to tell him what I am feeling. I have been fighting back sending him an email letting him know that I really like him, but understand if he doesn’t feel the same.  In the past I just let the guys drift away, but this time I am torn. I don’t want this one to drift away, but I understand if I need to.

So do I wait out the storm, or let the Sailor sail away?




4 thoughts on “Sailing away

  1. Hi Violet, personally, I´d say don´t just wait out the storm, fight it ;-). You really seem to like this guy so why not write him a mail, tell him about your feelings and the mixed signals he is sending out. If you let him drift away, he´s gone for good, if you open up to him, there is a chance he might stay, I know which one I´d choose.

  2. Ya know, after reading your comment I was all geared up to write him an email, but I was at work and writing an email like that with my phone would have taken half the day, lol….. Now that the day has passed by, I am not sure now. I last sent him a text yesterday asking if he was ok and that I wanted to check in on him. Never got a response back. I am feeling ignored now. I can understand getting tied up with work or responsibilities… but 24 hrs and nothing. Yes, I think he is going the way of a butterfly. Gracefully disappearing.

    I don’t know. I guess I can draft something up tonight after the kids are in bed and then see if I am up to hitting send. After all the heartache I went through with my ex-husband after trying to get him to work on our marriage, but instead he chose to walk off, I don’t know if I can chase a guy that hard again, or maybe one that won’t fight back too.

  3. Hi, first of all sorry,forgot to click the “notify me of follow-up comment” button.

    Obviously you did write him a mail because I have just seen that his ship has sailed away 😦

    At least you know now and can put him behind you (I know, easier said than done) for what it´s worse, hopefully in time he will realise what he´s missed out.
    I will spare you the typical “don´t worry, you´ll find someone” cr… (excuse my French), just have a nice weekend and try to look forward to whatever the next week will have in store for you 😉

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