The past few days have been a really big drain on me emotionally. Work has been crazy. My family is mad at me. The ex-husband is picking petty fights. Going on over a week and a half and the Sailor hasn’t spoken to me (for reasons unknown).
Stress has always come and gone for me, something I eventually just got used to having more often. But what I think has really been bring my mood down is that I feel ignored by the Sailor, and it hurts, REALLY hurts. I keep going between feeling heartbroken for falling for the guy, and angry that I feel for this guy after all the back and forth we had.
I keep wondering what happened to him. Why has he been so quiet (esp since in the past he would not hesitate to tell me what was on his mind, good and bad)? Did I do something to turn him away? Is he not interested? Should I move on?
Right now I am hurt and confused. Any other stress and anxiety that comes my way just adds fuel to the fire. This has been a bad month for me and lucky me gets to relive the anniversary of my ex-husband walking out in a few weeks.
This song seems to sum up how I feel perfectly. I just keep swinging my fists around…