Mish mosh and other things random

I really haven’t been up to much lately. Once I got my car back from the body shop I took a small trip to the beach and tried to enjoy the moment. I wasn’t working, so I figured I’d enjoy just having the free time to enjoy the beach. You never know when a job will come along, and by that point I might not have the time of to go. So I went.

Not having a job is getting to me. Usually I try not to stress too much over being unemployed, but my savings account is near empty and not knowing how to bills and even buy food can make your head spin worse than a bad hangover. I wasn’t getting any notices for assignments from my temp job. Unemployment rejected my claim.  Then when I thought I really hit rock bottom, I sat in the local welfare office applying for food stamps, only to be turned down because I still “technically” had a job, even though I don’t receive a steady income from them. A couple bad blows in a row.


While on my mini-vacation to the beach I got a call from my temp job for a quick assignment that had a beefy budget. Then a call for a phone interview. In my mind I kept thinking, finally a small light of hope!

Last week was a busy one. My work assignment, the holiday, a call for another interview (!!). Despite cutting it close to the deadline for my work assignment, I did find time to go on a  few dates.

I am cautiously mentioning this here, since each time I mention a guy I like, he becomes distant or somewhat disappears.  I met a guy who is very different from most of the guys I have dated these past two years.  Despite him being much shorter than most the guys I dated (what can I say, I like really tall guys), and being very athletic (those athletic guys usually don’t like full figured gals), there’s just something about him that makes me want to spend time with him. What I think stands out the most is, he seems very into me. So much so that I don’t think JS, The Scientist, and The Sailor ever wanted to see me as often as this guy does, and at the same time is more interested in me as a person, than “exploring the physical attraction”. And that last part is why I think I am drawn to this guy, whom I’ll call “Mr. Teacher”.

Mr. Teacher has been so different than the rest of the guys I met since becoming single again. He’s good looking, sweet as can be, intelligent, sensitive, and a pure gentleman.  He is a tad quieter and reserve than some of the guys I dated, but I think that just makes him adorable. The more I get to know him, the more I see qualities in him that I have been looking for in a guy, namely, a really great guy who thinks the world of me. I met some really great guys before, but I always fell harder for them, some didn’t even feel a deep connection with me.

I hate to say this but I see Mr. Teacher falling for me already, and in some ways I am still being cautious. I like him. I love spending time with him. But there’s no spark yet. I definitely feel drawn to him, and can’t wait to see him again. I have no idea why I feel some caution. Is it because each time I expressed my feelings and affection for a guy they back off? Is it because each time I fell in love with a guy, they felt no love for me?  Or is it because I dated the same guy time after time, with the same results of being strung along that when I find someone who isn’t along just for a casual relationship, I have no idea what to do?  I feel like I am new territory here, LOL. In the case of Mr. Teacher, I am just going with the flow and following the path he chose for our stroll together.  So far its been one lined with beauty and serenity.


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