Jackass looking for a VIBE

Its been a while since I stumbled upon a dating profile worthy of being placed on my Dating Wall of Degenerate Hopefuls page.  I admit I haven’t really accessed any of my online dating accounts in several weeks. What can I say I have been spending most of my free time with Mr. Teacher and lost interest in perusing through dating profiles.

However, I still get email notifications from people who ‘wink’, ‘flirt’, and message me. I usually ignore (aka delete) all those notifications, but for some reason I knew the one I got this morning was going to be a gem of a find for my DWDH page.

And I was so right.

There were so many grammar mistakes, txt speak, and one line zingers that I figured it would be easier to mark up his profile. So enjoy, I’ll provide some more commentary afterwards.


1) Good to know you have a job, but it must be one you hate or you maybe you have a revolving door of employers?

2) Too many interests?  More like too lazy to describe that you are into “women”, video games, and hanging with your boys.

3) There are way too many misspelled and text words to list. At first I let “i’s” go, but then there was “lookin”, “lil”, “fornother”. My head is hurting all over again.

4) That last sentence in the first paragraph. Yeah, that. I can’t tell if he means discovering new activities and places for the first time with the person he would want to spend the rest of his life with. … or if “1 experiences” means something completely different, and maybe something I really don’t want to know about.

5) MP? I tried to look this up since my first impression was ‘military police’. Given the other slang used in this profile I went to urbandictionary.com and have it narrowed down to ‘multiple pops’ or ‘magic pussy’. Way to keep it classy.

6) I think he wanted to say “depends on if there is a connection”. By saying “how we vibe with one another” I get the impression that even though he said he’s not looking for MP, in reality that is ALL he is really interested in.



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