I have been blogging for almost a year now and I just can’t believe how much time has flown. I started this blog after I had moved into the city after selling my suburban marital home. This blog was to be journey of starting my life over post-divorce and truly penning the first chapter of my new life.
I started this blog right as I was ringing in 2012 and now I find myself penning my 100th post. Looking back over the last 99 posts and my life has really come along.
I saw two break-ups/heartbreaks.
I worked two separate temp jobs. Lost two separate temp jobs.
I bought a new car. Watched new car get nearly totaled by a drunk driver.
I applied for food stamps and was denied.
I visited food panties.
I dated, dated, and dated some more.
I landed a full-time job with benefits, at my old salary, and I get to work from home.
I lost 15-pounds, gained 20-pounds. Started to cook again and began to write my own recipes.
To celebrate my 100th post I wanted to take a trip down memory lane and borrow, or re-blog, a post that I wrote a really long time ago on my old blog. This post is about a few omens I had before and on my wedding day, although I never saw them coming, there were more than obvious after my ex-husband left.
I used to tell this story jokingly as if I was making fun of my bad luck. It became one of the many fun stories I told just for a laugh. A story that seemed to be a good example of how unique and silly my life was. After my husband walked out I looked at these series of events differently. Part of me still laughs at how uncanny it all was, but the other part wonders if the events were an omen of a bad marriage.
Omen #1: Damaged engagement ring
At the point of when my then boyfriend and I felt like we were ready to move our relationship forward from “boyfriend/girlfriend” to “husband and wife” stage, we spent some time ring shopping. I picked a few rings I liked and the cut of the diamond. I let him pick which ring and diamond cut he wanted to get for me. When he gave me my ring is was early December 2002. My husband never wraped gifts (pure gift bag kind of guy), so when he gave me a box the shape of a shoe box that was poorly wrapped, I knew something was up.
When I unwrapped the box it was a box for a computer part (he was an IT guy, and had always bought some kind of computer part). I kind of looked at the box puzzled, I thanked him, and then shyly asked what “it” was. He laughed and told me to open the box. I opened the box and slid out the plastic tray. Jammed in the tray was a much smaller box, again poorly wrapped. The shape of this box was the classic “jewelry store box” shape. I knew what it was then. I joyously unwrapped this smaller box and opened it. Not only was it the setting I really loved (out of the three i chose), but he picked out a cushion cut diamond. I really felt my ring was unique and I LOVED it.
When I slipped the ring on my finger we embraced. I felt so happy. He looked so happy. I don’t think I took that ring off that night after I went to bed.
The next day I noticed the ring looked a little bent, almost like the ring shape was not round, but slightly oval. The ring was comfortable, so I left it. When we went to get the matching wedding band the sales clerk insisted I bent the ring. I insisted it came to me that way. She insisted I damaged it. I kept thinking, the ring was platinum, pretty hard to bend out of shape like it was. The clerk was annoying, so I ignored her, but later the word “damaged” resonated in my head every time I looked at my ring.
Omen #2: I lost my job
Six months before my wedding I was laid off from my job. We were paying for our own wedding, (actually I was paying for most of our wedding) so I really needed to keep my job. I was pretty torn up about it, but eventually kind of settled into a wedding mode where I spent most of my days planning my wedding. I made my invitations, favors, programs, seating cards and signs. I even went as far as making paper for my guest book and lining my own invitation envelopes (tip: pretty wrapping paper makes a great envelope liner). I had the time, so I got creative and crafty all at once. I don’t think I would have been able to do all the little details if I didn’t have the time. With a trimmed budget I had to resort to getting creative and stretching my dollar because only I would lose my job right before I got married.
Omen #3: Moved venue
It seemed like my husband and I looked at hundreds of places before we settled on a venue for the ceremony and reception. Either the place was too expensive, too small, poor menu, bad location, etc. We finally found a place that fit the bill nicely, only down side was there was no outdoor location on-site for pictures. But we fixed that with scoping out locations at nearby parks.
Once we booked the venue, we started to make small down payments. Each month we would make a deposit. About 6 months before our wedding, after making payments for a year, our venue closed down without notice. Took us a month to get in touch with management to find out what the hell was going on. Turns out the owner sold her venue and was re-furbishing a warehouse into a brand new facility. When I heard the news my heart dropped. When she had us over to look at her new place, and I saw that she didn’t even start construction yet, I freaked out. Oh and to top it off, the address of the new venue had a street name of “Industrial Way” , yeah like I really wanted that on my wedding invitations.
The owner assured us that the new venue was be ready in plenty of time before my wedding, that 5 months,was more then enough time. In the back of my head I always worried about whether or not the new venue would be ready in time. Each month was made additional deposits the owner assured us that she was on schedule. But only I would spend months looking at wedding venues to only go and pick the one that closes down and moves to an industrial park.
Omen #4: Cut finger
A month before my wedding I had my bridal shower. I was too eager to try out some of the new housewares we received. One of the few items I opened, and just had to use, was a chef’s knife. One night I wanted to chop up some chick using this new knife. I was happily going to town when “whap”, I came right down on my finger.
I calmly called to my husband for help. When he came down we saw how frightened I was, the blood everywhere. After we cleaned up my hand and determined I didn’t need stitches. It appears that I only cut off half the fingernail on my left ring finger. I didn’t cut any flesh, but the missing fingernail was nasty looking. I had to wear a bandage on it for 2 weeks. To get my fingernail to grow, and grow fast, I took prenatal vitamins. I also prayed, LOL.
Luckily the week of my wedding my nail was long enough to get an acrylic affixed. So I got a full set put on, because only I could manage to nearly chop of my wedding ring finger.
Omen #5: Moved venue, again
Then day after I nearly cut my finger off (again only a month before my wedding), I got a call from the owner of our wedding venue. She was calling with bad news. She admitted that she hit some snags with zoning and was no where near being ready to host my wedding. Part of me knew this was coming. She senses I was quiet and admitted I was taking the news well. That was when I told her I nearly chopped my finger off the day before and at that point really nothing would shock me. LOL.
The owner also informed me that she had already lined up a new venue for me. It was a place that husband and I looked at, liked overall, but hated the menu. She assured me I could keep my old venue, and would be getting one of the grand ballrooms. She also told me that she printed up for me cards to send to all my guests informing them of the venue change (yeah my invitations had just went out the month before too, Industrial Way and all).
After this second venue change I figured what in the hell could happen now. As if losing my job, finger wasn’t enough, only I would go through a change of venue twice in 4 months.
Omen #6: I got sick
The week of my wedding I felt a cold coming on. Sore throat, body aches, coughing, you name it. I ran to the doctor instantly. Like the last thing I needed was to be sick on my own wedding day. After an exam the doctor called it, I had bronchitis. I think I even said “fuck me” after he told me. I explained to him I was getting married in a few days and if I would be well enough. He prescribed some mega antibiotics and said I should me, but not to drink much more then the champagne toast. My first thought was “greeeeaaaat, I spent thousands of dollars for my wedding, an open bar, and I can’t even drink”. HA
On the day of my wedding, I felt fine, but I had this lingering cough. Luckily I had a small hidden pocket in my dress and kept a handful of cough drops in there. If I didn’t have a cough drop in my mouth at all times, I would go into coughing fits every time I tried to talk. So in order to say my vows, and smile pretty for the camera, I kept popping cough drop after cough drop because only I would get sick on my wedding day.
Omen #7: Wrong song
The day of my wedding. The weather was perfect. I was happy, not even nervous. I had a busy day ahead and could not wait to get it all started. After getting my nails touched up, my makeup and hair done, I met my girls back at my mom’s house. When it was time to get ready, I hopped right into my dress. I think I was even ready before any of my girls even slipped their dresses off their hangers.
We had our pictures outside, it was a beautiful spring day. My mom’s garden was in full bloom and it made a wonderful backdrop. The photographer was not only on time, but finished early. My limo was on time, and we made it to my venue in no time flat. I patiently waited in the bridal room until I was told it was go time.
And I waited. Waited. Waited, for what seemed like forever even though it was only supposed to be an hour or so. Then I got the news. The DJ was late. He also left some of his equipment behind and scrambled to get backups. No one told me how late the DJ was until the reception kicked off. He was 30 mins late. By the time the ceremony began the DJ was operating with some backup equipment that wasn’t very audible unless you were close to the speakers.
My bridal party and I lined up in the ballroom, waiting to enter the cocktail room where the ceremony was taking place. As I passed my cake table I stopped to look at my cake. It was god ugly. LOL. At that point I didn’t care. An ugly cake seemed like nothing to be worried about compared to the list of events that transpired over the last 6 months.
Slowly the bridal party shuffled in and down the aisle. I picked out a pretty Celtic song for them that seemed to fit the mood perfectly. I had picked out Pachelbel Canon in D for myself to walk down the aisle. My husband and I had also found a club/techno remix of the same song that we planned to use to enter the reception as a new couple. This version was an unusual find, so we supplied the DJ with a copy of it.
Now remember, the sound from the DJ’s equipment wasn’t very audible unless you were maybe half way down the aisle. It was at that point in my trip down the aisle that I realized the DJ was playing the wrong wedding march. Here let me link the song he did play. You can find it here.
I hope you are listening to it right now, or still have it on as you finish reading this. If not, please go ahead and turn it on, listen, and finish reading.
Yes, I was walking down the aisle to club music. My father was trying so hard not to laugh. I was in shock. I wanted to laugh, but I just didn’t think I was hearing what I was really hearing, club music. The photographer caught a great shot of my father and I walking down the aisle at that same moment when I realized it was the wrong song. Someone told me I looked petrified. I always corrected then and said, no, that was me mortified and confused. Mortified that I was walking down the aisle to club music, and confused on how to keep a slow and steady pace when the beat was bumping so fast and hard. LOL.
I admit the song snafu was my favorite of all the mishaps leading up to my wedding day. I still laugh every time I hear that song. Someone told me I was ahead of my time using this club song as my wedding march, maybe I was, if I did it intentionally, LOL. But no, only I would be the bride to walk down the aisle not only the wrong song, but act like, I meant to do that.
Omen #8: Respect twice over
I mentioned before that the DJ was off his game on my wedding day. As if the missing equipment and the wrong song were bad enough, he continued to bat a few other misses that night during the reception too. It first started when he played “RESPECT” by Aretha Franklin. More than one of my guests took notice that it was a very strange to play a song about relationship issues at a wedding. I guess I didn’t take too much notice that it played, so he (or maybe the universe) played the song a SECOND time that night. Only I would totally miss the most obvious omen that clearly foreshadowed my failed marriage.
So every time I tell people about these events I would laugh and say, only silly me would have a crazy wedding with some many eventful moments. I admit I still laugh at all this. I never let the events get me down because I really thought it was impossible to have that much bad luck. I figured eventually the bad luck would run out. But looking back now, now that I am getting divorced, I don’t see bad luck anymore, just omens. Omens that were telling me, “honey really this wedding should NOT happen, RUN”.
But I loved my husband and I thought he loved me too. I took all these omens as just ways that made our special day just a little unique. Not much I can do about it now really. I do admit the “eventful” wedding still lingers in my mind, but I am thinking of doing it intentional next time (if there is a next time). I figured if I get remarried, screw the big fancy wedding. I did that already, I am not doing it again. Plus all that big fancy wedding for what, a failed married and a costly divorce. Next time I get married, I am eloping. And to make it fun and eventful, I am thinking Vegas wedding, thinking married by Elvis.
Yeah, Vegas wedding, married by Elvis. This time I will create my own “events”, maybe then the marriage will last.
A few weeks ago I got wind of some news that just seemed to perfectly sum up, or maybe even confirm, my suspicions of these omens. Now remember that I had my venue move a 2nd time after the 2nd reception hall hadn’t completed renovations? The 2nd venue was technically rented by the place I had booked. Even though I paid her, she owed a payment to the venue that I eventually did hold my wedding. Well, I found out that the check that she had cut to the reception hall bounced. The venue sued the place I hired and the case is still under litigation. Its been nearly 8 years and my wedding still hasn’t been paid for.
Story just keeps getting better.