Dating Wall of Degenerate Hopefuls

I have been doing the online dating thing for about 2 years now. I spent the first year screening over the guys who fell in the “not in a million years” or “I’d rather be a nun” categories. Those guys were obvious, but I never paid much attention to their profile once I hit one (or all) of the top red flags. In my second year of online dating, I got bored easily since  I stumbled across more guys  in the “reject” pile. I admit I was feeling pretty bummed about this prospect, and even lowered my standards a bit. My luck in this second year was was bad, it seemed that only 2 out of 10 emails and/or winks that I had sent out came back with a response. Most the time one of the two responders goes MIA and the other isn’t quite what the profile captured (aka, red flag).

We all have our red flags, mine isn’t too long, but I feel important to “keeping it real” while sifting through the dating pool.


  1. No Punctuation in profile
  2. Use of texting language (i.e. “how r u”)
  3. Use of “if you like what you see, hit me up”
  4. Profile picture posing with your guns (I am not anti-gun, its just fucking creepy)
  5. Half naked profile pictures
  6. Profile picture in underwear
  7. Looks like a miserable S.O.B in all the profile pictures (i.e. no smiling)
  8. Lives with parents (or never moved out in the first place)
  9. If has kids, only sees them a few days a month or less (if you have no time for your kids, you don’t have time for a relationship)
  10. Sends me an email that consists of one word (FYI, “hi”, “hello”, and “hey” are salutations, not the body of a greeting)
  11. Sends me an email that calls me “sexy”, “cutie”, and/or “baby”
  12. Sends me an email describing the sexual things they want to do “to” me

There are many more red flags on my list, too many to list here, which is why I started this page. My goal here is to take the lemons in the dating pool and (sour as they may be), turn it into something I can laugh at on a grander scale than I already do. 

I eventually want to turn this page into a blog-style layout, but until I can figure out the execution I am going to put the posts in my main blog, and then paste the hyper links here (just like I do on my recipe page).

Breaking Red Flag #1

Breaking Red Flag #2

Jackass looking for a VIBE

Young Heffner

Breaking Red Flag #3

Breaking Red Flag #4

Breaking Red Flag #5

Ladies Love the Torso

Breaking Red Flag #6

Is that an Elephant in Your Pants

He wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie…

Breaking Red Flag #7

Breaking Red Flag #8

Getting out the Bottles

Breaking Red Flag #9

Breaking Red Flag #10

Breaking Red Flag #11

Breaking Red Flag #12

Breaking a Red Flag Not Yet Covered (boys who strive to set the bar)

Is that an Elephant in Your Pants (polyamory)

When there are NO words  (cross-dresser)

Lowering the No Effort Bar

Getting out the Bottles

Never State the Obvious

First for Everything (cross-dresser)

Don’t forget to check out my On-line Dating Meme!


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